I struggled with this for a while too - my group, nor I, had ever played another RPG other than Hero Kids (a children's RPG I play with my son.)
When deciding, I saw lots of people saying 'TOR is better', 'AME is for 5e players who refuse anything else' etc. So I gave a decent look through of both books with my partner (who would be playing with me) and read the general rules. Overall we settled on AME. My partner especially seemed to prefer the AME rules over TOR.
I have played 0 games of TOR and 1 game of AME - so take my views with a large pinch of salt! THeses are my views on reading the core books of both.
We both agreed that we prefer the look of 5e combat (less abstract) - but I found myself drawn to the idea of not levelling up and getting more powerful and balancing for levels etc. I'm also not sure on how I feel about TOR's abstract system for money. I found AME's journey events to be much more interesting than AME's fatigue & hazard tests - though I also found the TOR version harder to understand, so my opinion isn't the most reliable.
In general, I think I like to less abstract areas of AME (combat, money, journeys etc.) but I do prefer the more gritty aspects of TOR (no HP / HP gain, No levels, etc.)
Based on this, I bought basically all the AME books and have started a campaign. I'd love to try TOR and see if it would change my mind, but I don't have the budget to buy more TOR books on top of the AME ones I already have, and there are no games near me to join. I think one hurdle, has been half the rules being in the 5e Basic rules, and the rest being in AME - since I've never played 5e before, it wasn;t something I 'just knew'
I found that in the game of AME I am DMing, when a player loses health, unless it's a BIG hit, I describe it as a glancing blow that winds them etc - so I've not found HP to be a big problem in 5e like say, in video games, where you can take 50 arrows and you're bleeding everywhere, but it's fine 'coz you have 50hp left.
Hopefully that's helped a little? I would actually love to hear more opinions on TOR vs. AME from those of you who are more experienced.