I was also at first confused by this, but when I understood what they were, I really enjoyed following how you made additions to the adventure based on your own group, just like I would have done. Thus I liked that they were kept in, they could have been made more clear what they were though.Agnot wrote: ↑Tue Jun 20, 2017 12:45 pmAck! I forgot to delete those sections. Hergar and Rolf are both player characters. I like to have personal narratives that run concurrently with my adventures. That way every player has a secondary story arc that is just for them that plays out over the course of the campaign. The sections labeled "Hergar's Tale" and such are player specific story arcs that are not necessary for the overall adventure.Rich H wrote: ↑Tue Jun 20, 2017 12:20 pmThanks for posting this, always great to read some fanmade adventures.
I do think the adventure could do with another read through and edit in order to improve the clarity. For instance, who is Hergar? He is never introduced as a character, as far as I can tell, and is only first mentioned on page 8 (Hergar’s Tale). The text in that section reads like an advisor of Bard, who is unnamed, approaches a character (Hergar). There are a few other things like this throughout the adventure which really impact on its ease of use - especially critical for investigative scenarios.
Other than that though, I quite liked this; granted the Master's acquiring of the Black Arrow seems a bit of a stretch but if this can be ignored then there's a fun adventure to be had.
Thank you for taking the time to read it and give me feedback. I've made revisions until my eyes crossed. Having someone take a fresh look at it is very helpful.
The unique One Ring rules set invites tinkering and secondary creation. Whilst The One Ring works brilliantly as written, we provide this forum for those who want to make their own home-brewed versions of the rules. Note that none of these should be taken as 'official'.
No problem, happy to help.
I think you also need to consider the Master's treasure. This is used specifically within the "Watch on the Heath" adventure within Tales from Wilderland to attract and entrap Raenar. You reference this a little in your adventure yet have the Serpent carry treasure away from the master's burial place aswell as the Black Arrow. There could therefore be some issues with the timeline as to when the treasure is taken by agents of the Gibbet King to Zirakinbar and how this maps to the Serpent taking the arrow and (potentially) the 40 points of the Master's treasure. The reference to the 40 points of treasure within your adventure/Erebor I assume is what is left, hidden, after the bulk of the treasure (200 points) is taken north by agents of the Gibbet King. Now, I assume that they do this as the events of Crossings of the Celduin take place (the attack there used as a distraction) and take the treasure north to tempt Raenar. Therefore if you run this adventure before those final two adventures within TfW then I think you may have an issue as to why the 200 point treasure hoard isn't also found by the orcs. Another option for the bulk of the treasure would be that it was taken beforehand; but if so, where to and by who. LM's will need to consider this for their campaign but I think it's worth either (a) proposing solutions or (b) providing a footnote for consideration within the adventure.
Hope that doesn't seem too critical but by tightening this up and remvoing the confusing elements that I suggested earlier, I think it would improve the adventure. Even without such changes, it is still a very good adventure and I will certainly be adapting it into my campaign. In fact, I may be able to introduce some time in the next couple of weeks so will let you know how it goes if I do.
After thinking over the above, you could suggest that the Master was due to meet with agents of the Gibbet King south of Zirankinbar and fearing treachery, he hid some of his treasure (the 40 TP hoard) before meeting them. He died from his wounds whilst attempting to recover his stash. That would mean the 200+ treasure has been at Zirakinbar for a number of years (up until whenever someone runs The Watch on the Heath) which could pose a problem as to why/how a dragon wasn't previously attracted but that could easily be explained that it was hidden/covered. I think this is a workable option and allows for your adventure to be run before or after the events laid out towards the end of Tales From Wilderland.
Those are all excellent suggestions and would dove-tail nicely with The Watch on the Heath. I honestly did not work too hard to reconcile the two because I currently do not have any plans to run that adventure in the future. However, I have considered what role, if any, the old Master would play in it if the players successfully recovered his treasure and saw to its return to Lake-town. One of my players put a lot of thought into how he would advocate for the money to be spent and he did a fantastic job of taking the narrative to places I had not considered. By resolving that portion of the story in the way he did, the old Master's shade has found its rest and is long gone by the time the Watch on the Heath rolls around.Rich H wrote: ↑Thu Jun 22, 2017 11:14 amAfter thinking over the above, you could suggest that the Master was due to meet with agents of the Gibbet King south of Zirankinbar and fearing treachery, he hid some of his treasure (the 40 TP hoard) before meeting them. He died from his wounds whilst attempting to recover his stash. That would mean the 200+ treasure has been at Zirakinbar for a number of years (up until whenever someone runs The Watch on the Heath) which could pose a problem as to why/how a dragon wasn't previously attracted but that could easily be explained that it was hidden/covered. I think this is a workable option and allows for your adventure to be run before or after the events laid out towards the end of Tales From Wilderland.
In short, I guess I am just trying to say that so much is in flux at any given time during the campaign that there is little point to planning too far ahead. Players are just a wee tad unpredictable, but I do want their actions to have consequences. Even a happy ending now might result in a complication down the road.
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