Amusing resource for cults.

There are things out there, in the weirder reaches of space-time where reality is an optional extra. Horrible things, usually with tentacles. Good thing there's a bureaucracy to deal with them. Based on the Laundry Files novels by Charles Stross. Learn more at our website:
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Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2013 7:02 pm
Location: Near Chippenham, UK

Amusing resource for cults.

Post by Shane » Tue Apr 15, 2014 8:40 pm

A post by a guy on Facebook pointed me to the Random New Age Bullshit Generator. I was thinking this would be ideal for making cult pamphlet handouts for the more new-age cults out there. Plus, it fits with the humour tone of the Laundryverse.



An example of it's output: (the website is more formatted)

By unveiling, we believe.
Healing is a constant. Joy requires exploration.
Being, look within and unify yourself.

We are at a crossroads of intuition and yearning. Reality has always been bursting with entities whose third eyes are baptized in spacetime. Humankind has nothing to lose.

The quantum matrix is calling to you via sub-atomic particles. Can you hear it? If you have never experienced this metamorphosis at the speed of light, it can be difficult to live. Have you found your path?

The goal of supercharged waveforms is to plant the seeds of will rather than materialism. The planet is radiating morphogenetic fields. You and I are lifeforms of the cosmos.

How should you navigate this sensual solar system?

Who are we? Where on the great path will we be guided? Our conversations with other messengers have led to a redefining of hyper-quantum consciousness. Throughout history, humans have been interacting with the nexus via electrical impulses.

This path never ends. We must strengthen ourselves and ground others. It is time to take serenity to the next level.

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Joined: Wed May 14, 2014 9:43 pm

Re: Amusing resource for cults.

Post by FractalBum » Wed May 14, 2014 10:42 pm

As a new Laundry Keeper, I cannot thank you enough. This was and has been a great resource for my game.

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